Saturday, February 5, 2011

I'm Not Late. I'm On Time. Kinda.

This blog is going up the night of Friday, so I don't feel bad for it being past midnight and into Thursday already.

You'll live.

I just wanted to state that, in the past, I've always had an issue with getting to my events on time. Not all, but maybe a good fourth of them. I always felt like I was rushing against the clock to make it somewhere on time, or waking up late, or calling a friend to tell them that I was ten minutes further along than I actually was.

Lucky for me, none of those friends read this blog.

Having said that, minus exceptions of crazy weather, I feel that I've been doing a lot better with getting to things on time.

Up until the end of 2010, the clock in my car was not set on the correct time. It started out on time but somewhere in my mind, I thought it would be a good idea to bump it forward a minute. So, in theory, I would get to my location a minute earlier.

I failed to take into account that a minute was barely enough time to change my habits of lateness and I found myself being even more stressed, at first not remembering that the car was a minute fast. Then I bumped it up to five minutes fast which seemed to help for a while. But since five minutes was so easy to do the mental math with, I always knew how late I really was.

Then I bumped it up to eight minutes, I guess, to trick myself into thinking that it was still five minutes fast, which would, again, in theory, only give me three minutes buffer time. That didn't work either. So, it kept going and by the time December 2010 rolled around, my clock was a full eighteen minutes fast.

Now, my fear was that if I set it back to the correct time, I would still think, "Oh, I have eighteen minutes more than what's presented in front of me," and assume that the clock was fast. And this was something I dreaded more than anything. I had created a theory/construct/thing that I felt couldn't be calmed. I was always gong to have assumptions about the clock's time.

But after multiple people commenting on the time once they got into my car, I got sick of explaining this story to them. So, in January 2011, I thought, "I should fix this". And fix it I did.

For the first few days, it was the correct time. Then I bumped it up a minute "for kicks" and to make sure my clock would never be behind. Then I passed a bank and its time was a minute faster. So I bumped it up again.

And I left it there. For good reason.

I don't need that beast released again. I will not be a slave to my clock.

I am become on time.

So far.

1 comment:

  1. When I set alarms to get up or do things sometimes I consider setting it earlier or messing with the time like that to help keep myself punctual but the few times i did try it I couldn't fool myself. I knew that the time was wrong and ended up still being late.