Now, every so often, I have an idea for a video or a blog post.
The blog posts generally happen smoothly because I can type them out exactly how I want, with very conversational writing, and I'm able to add, delete, change, any single word I want until I hit the "publish post" button.
But my videos have to go through quite a ringer in order for them to make it to YouTube.
I have to have the initial idea for the video which, let's face it, isn't too hard. Then, I decide if the idea is good or bad. The blog posts don't have to be "good" or "bad" respectively, because like I said before, I can tweak them to how I want.
Then, I have to make bullet points of the ideas I want to say into the camera. Sometimes, they'll be vague subjects and other times they'll be as direct as lines I want to say exactly. And I need to have an ending by then. The ending is very important. Obviously.
I then go over the notes and rethink the story, making sure I still think it's good enough to film and post online. I think about my audience, the opinions I'll receive, but most importantly, I need it to be good enough for my own seal of approval. I need to love the work I'm going to post.
After my ideas are down on paper or it's a story I feel comfortable telling from memory, I clean up my filming area. I make sure that towels are off of the door, that clothes are out of the way, that there's nothing behind me, and that the lights are on.
Then I film myself. And I say everything I need to say. Or, at least try to.
While filming, I think about how the cuts will be spliced together. Making sure I'm making it so everything will flow and that I'm not leaving anything out. Then after I film, again, I think about if I love the content I'm about to create. Sometimes, at this point I'm hesitant. I just spent time on something that's almost halfway done. Do I want to give up on it now? Maybe I should just trudge through it.
With editing, I travel to campus to load my footage and spend about an hour or so making cuts and splices to fit the story together. Sometimes, I find out that I left an important word out or that I misspoke when I filmed. Sometimes, an edit can fix it. Sometimes, I scrap that sentence of the video.
And sometimes, like today, I write, film, go to campus, get halfway done with editing and realize that I'm not in love with my content.
And it's a bittersweet feeling.
Bitter because I feel cheated with all the work I put in but sweet because I don't want to give you guys anything I'm not completely proud of. You guys mean a lot to me and I appreciate your viewership. Looking back a few hours, I wasn't too in love with it earlier and that should have been a red flag.
So, in an incredibly round-about way, thank you. :)
Also, this story will probably be part of a 2 or 3 part story-vlog I do soon so NOT TO WORRY.